Chiff and Fipple Forums

If you want to make God laugh, make plans!

MarkB

If someone snarls at you in a store, remember, they may have a relative at home dying of cancer and can't contain their anger.

Some of my favorites:

It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop (old Zen saying--particularly helpful for frustrated musicians).

Carpe diem (an oldie but goodie)

Never mix, never worry (for all us drinkers)

And my absolute mantra:

If you bring forth that which is within you,
What you bring forth will save you.
If you do not bring forth that which is within you,
What you do not bring forth will destroy you.
(Jesus, from the Gnostic texts, which means NOT the Bible!)

Geez, there are so many good ones.

"From there to here, from here to there,
Funny things are everywhere." -- Dr Seuss

"Genius is 10% inspiration, 90% perspiration." -- Edison

"everybody happy?
wee! wee! wee! and to hell with the chappy who doesn't agree." -- e.e. cummings

I dunno if there's a saying that conveys quite this, but almost all the time, it requires no more effort to be nice to someone than to be nasty, plus you wind up feeling better after you've been nice.

"Don't look back, someone might be gainin' on ya." -- Satchel Paige

"If you don't have any vices, you don't have anything to give up when you get sick." (paraphrase) -- Mark Twain

"Judge not..."
-- Jesus, the Sermon on the Mount

"Emptiness is form, form is emptiness..."
-- the Buddha, the Heart Sutra

"In fact, everything we know is some kind of approximation..."
-- Richard P. Feynman, Atoms in Motion

methinks this thread would benefit from the redoubtable Steven Wright, so here are a few wise proverbs, adages to live by and insights into the nature of reality by the esteemed sage Steven:

They say we're 98% water. We're that close to drowning.

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.

If a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would we know?

What's another word for Thesaurus?

Ever notice how it's a penny for your thoughts, yet you put in your two-cents? Someone's making a penny on the deal.

You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths.

The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

I like to reminisce with people I don't know.

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

There are no pockets in a shroud.

GaryKelly wrote:There are no pockets in a shroud.

Excellent.

Forgive the rearing of my ugly head here from the depths of obscurity...

Nanohedron wrote:

GaryKelly wrote:There are no pockets in a shroud.

Excellent.

Absolutely. The best so far.

Now, I absolutely detest all that nauseating, contrived, pseudo-inspirational, faux-spiritual crap that gets emailed out by morons and fwded on by cretins. That said, my nomination for this thread is probably the godfather of all that stuff, and has become the fodder of countless comercial t-shirts and posters. Nevertheless, maybe it's just because my punk period never *quite* killed off the hippy in me... but I still love this - especially the third from last verse. Or maybe it's nothing to do with being a hippy: maybe it's just because it makes sense...


Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.


(Max Ehrmann)

Oh, and we mustn't forget Baz Luhrmann's advice from his 'Sunscreen', so obviously a pastiche of the above.

Perhaps most important of all...

"DANCE"

Life is too important to be taken seriously.

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.

Every silver cloud has a black lining.

Nobody's perfect but being Irish is as close has you can get.( :roll: )

What the large print giveth,the small print taketh away.

Better to have stumbled and fallen than never to have danced at all.

F*&$ the begrudgers.

A dying man only regrets the things he has not done.


Slan,
D.

does anyone know what a winker is ?
it is someone who___________guess ?

you will have to get up very early in the morning to pull the wool over my eyes,this is fo my little Irishduffy.

I bet Irishduffy is a winker ? if some answers me i will tell you all why i think that,Irishduffy winks a lot.